Tips you *MUST* know when dealing with a Southerner
As most of you know, I’m a Texan-American. We have been our own country before. We’re the only state whose flag is raised at the same height as the American flag. Fridays are for high school football, Saturdays are for college football and Sundays are for pro football. Even women drink beer here (Bud Light, duh) and unless you’re in Dallas, plastic surgery is rare. When people visit from other states, we have to explain so much about our culture.
We’re not alone. April Groves can tell you that in Georgia, much of the same culture is shared that seems so alien to the “Coasters” (that’s the people that live on the north east or the west coast). If you’re a Coaster and are forging a business relationship or a personal friendship with a southerner, most of us assume that the South is the center of the world and the rest of you should behave as we do. But since that may not be true, here are the main things you need to know:
1. We may not carry guns on our hips, but we’re no-crap type people. We’ll tell you the truth even if it costs us a deal and we expect the same. Southerners are offended when you dance around with excuses (like “I didn’t get those contracts yet” even through your Fed-Ex tracking system says they signed for it, or “I never got a message from you” even though your cell records show otherwise). If you’re dealing with a Southerner, always be straightforward- excuses are like a-holes if you know what I mean.
2. Southerners are loyal. We have our networks and we use them. Bubba may be a moron, but he gets the deals done, so I’ll use him even if he’s hard on the eyes and the ears. Don’t talk badly about him if you wouldn’t do it to his face, that’s not how we roll. Southerners don’t talk behind people’s backs and if YOU do while around us, you’ll lose the loyalty you’ve been given.
3. I should take a moment to dispel the myth that we are story tellers. Grandparents are, but those of us under 60 want the point first and the story later. Flowery speech and long-winded tales are great over beer, but in business, get to the point with honest speech- save the stories for happy hour.
4. In Texas, it’s a coke. “What kind of coke do you want?” the waiter asks. You say “Dr. Pepper.” Don’t call it a soda, cola or pop- it will prove that you don’t know the first thing about being Southern and you’ll just irritate me.
5. Southerners are like mobsters- if I go out of my way for you and act as a part of your team, I expect the same. We don’t do favors to get favors, but if I stick my neck out on a deal, you should be willing to bend for me next time. You do me a favor and you should know that I’ll do one for you in return.
6. We are not a delicate people, but we will lose it if ignored. We answer our phones if we’re in bed, during dinner, probably during a shower and anything in between (besides church). If you can’t answer your phone or return calls, no Southerner will be able to respect you since we go out of our way for everyone, even the Coasters.
7. Driving in Texas (and I would assume other places in the South), there is a mandatory two finger wave exchanged when going under 40 on a two lane road (usually residential or country road) between the driver and the oncoming driver or a person on the side of the road. Don’t wave to your neighbor as you pull in and you might not hear from them again. Also, if someone lets you in while in traffic and you don’t wave, you will get to know the mean side of a Texan while losing your bumper. So, do the two finger wave when driving slowly and do the full hand wave when let in in traffic or you will piss off any Texan.
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So that’s enough for now but there’s more. These are the top ways to upset a Texan or a Southerner, so if you have business or friendship with a Southerner, mind these rules or risk a dead relationship. I look forward to YOU adding #8-10 Southern Etiquette tips in the comments!
Thanks for reading y’all!
November 21st, 2007 at 11:18 am
When you see a Texan on the ski sloops, think, “wide berth”. They’re easy to spot as their attire usually matches.
Having met people and developed business all over the country, Southerners among my favorite. What I like best about most of the ones I’ve dealt with is that they are generally friendly and courteous to a complete stranger. However, you still have to deliver in a hurry if you want the relationship to be anything other than cordial.
By comparison, West Coasters are the opposite. Many come off a bit standoffish when you first meet them, but they are easier to grow relationships from there.
November 21st, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Lani,
Lucky for me, my mother is from Virginia and taught me all of these things. But she referred to them as “common courtesy” and being a “decent human”. I miss Austin like you wouldn’t believe. They don’t have Blue Bell ice cream in California.
November 21st, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Lani: I am so, so ….
I resemble those remarks!
November 21st, 2007 at 3:18 pm
There you are. Been a bit for the RE Revealed. Glad you’re back.
While born and raised in the great NW, I lived a dozen years in the heart of the South, just outside HOT-lanta. One rule that I remember (that is actually printable on a family blog) is that I was corrected to never say y’all when you are just speaking with one person… that’s a sure sign you didn’t come across that drawl naturally.
Been back in the NW for ten years, but after a couple of cold one’s I revert to the “y’all, fixin and reckon” thang like I’m sitting ‘tween the Hedges… co-eds not included.
November 21st, 2007 at 9:54 pm
I’ve never lived in the South. Been to Alabama twice and driven through a few of the SE states with my wife. All I can say is we pulled in for some directions (we were lost) at a gas station and I kid you not, I didn’t understand a word the guy said. I politely thanked him for such detailed directions and got back on the road. Then remembering he said something about “haaing a ryeght” I just “hung a right” - I made it somehow!
Lani this is insightful - I’m curious how this may apply in the RE.net world?
November 21st, 2007 at 11:26 pm
8. Never, even in jest, take the the name Longhorns in vain. It’s simply not done. It’s known as the unforgivable sin.
9. Understand this — Texans are the nicest, hardest working folks you’ll find anywhere. Don’t mistake kindness for weakness — and don’t mistake it for them granting you equality of ranking in the universe. If you’re not Texan, you’re #2, and they actually feel sorry for you.
10. Oklahoma is where trailer trash is born, Satan lives, and losers go to play football.
November 21st, 2007 at 11:57 pm
WHOA! As an Oklahoman all I can say is- I GOT HERE AS FAST AS I COULD!
November 22nd, 2007 at 12:04 am
Smoked you out!
November 22nd, 2007 at 3:27 am
Lani,
well said, as a fellow Texan-American now in North Carolina, I can say that there is a difference in Texan and general Southern things. Both rock of course.. I love your two-finger wave comment.
11. Never, ever say, do, support or even think about anything that defiles the Alamo. God, Himself hangs out there on the weekends.
12. Tumbleweeds are beautiful, especially when propelled by a 50 MPG sandstorm.
13. The PREMIER University in the country is located in College Station, TX. There it perfectly acceptable to take the name of that obscure university in Austin’s name in vain.
I better stop now, before I get on a roll…
November 22nd, 2007 at 3:36 am
Well, I could go so many directions here… I suppose I’m a Coaster because I’m from north of Oklahoma. And while I hope you count me as a friend, and while I’m used to doing business in the same “friendly” was because of the the Kansas City politeness police, I still miss DC.
1. Say what you need. No “please” or “thank you” needed.
2. Drive faster than the guy behind you or you may be “nudged” off the Beltway. (No one will come to your aid because they know you deserved it.)
3. It’s acceptable to hang up on the person you are talking to, without explanation, so long as the person calling is “more important” or better connected.
4. Perception is reality…because the reality of the situation probably sucks.
5. Only Southerners or the homeless drive American cars.
November 23rd, 2007 at 11:11 pm
9. If you are fixin’ to do something, it’ll actually happen. If you are gonna do something…well, then it might not actually happen.
10. The yes rule. Not yea, but yes.
November 25th, 2007 at 6:55 am
Don’t expect any true southerner to give a turn signal. You are expected to know where we are going and don’t assume that just because we do give a turn signal that we plan to turn.
Don’t ask a true southerner sweet or unsweetend.
Don’t mess with the heat and air conditioner.
Don’t talk about our dogs.
Be prepared for the car in front of you to slow down and admire the cotton and tobacco in the field.
Don’t discuss three things: politics, religion and BBQ. You’re bound to find yourself in the middle of a fist fight if you do.
January 25th, 2008 at 3:28 am
Southerners being so “honest” and “friendly” is just plain not true. My experience is they’re conniving, evil, backstabbing and ready to do anything it takes to get ahead. I have a boss, a true “flower of the south” from some hillbillie swamp in Florida and she’ll come to me acting all kindsa friendly, playful and “nice” just to get some information out of me she will later use to ridicule me and put me down with in front of our superiors. Or she’ll snitch on me for the dumbest little infractions. How is that “friendly”, “generous” or “honest”?! And all your bullcrap ideals of “real men” and chivalry only show how sad and pathetic “y’all” are. And your racism and prejudice only show how insecure you are. Just as a reminder, YOU LOST THE WAR. What? “The south shall rise again?” Go ahead, losers. I frikkin’ dare you
January 25th, 2008 at 11:54 am
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