In the “best interest” of the company and shareholders, Mozilo walks away from a $36.4 million (cash) severance package. Crazy, you ask? Nah- he’s still eligible for insane retirement benefits and compensation totaling $40 million, he’s a considerable stockholder and don’t worry, he still gets to use the company jet and gym (and probably the tanning bed with the oompa-loompa-orange bulbs).

But should he have walked away? I think most people would, especially given that he’ll still easily afford an entourage, driver and skinny chicks feeding him grapes by the pool. But would I have given up that severance package? No way- even though he made Countrywide the mega-lender it has become, history has already written him off as a bad guy and made him the fall guy for the debacle at Countrywide (and the mortgage industry as a whole), so why not? He did his job! Silly Mozilo- you should’ve taken the money and bought an island in Fiji to quietly slip into retirement!

Source- The Real Estate Bloggers

Well, I was alive but I’m pretty sure my interests included My Little Pony and making mud pies, not real estate.  I haven’t seen this movie play out before where real estate offices shut down across the nation.  Although lending has tightened which froze up even our vibrant Austin real estate market for a brief 60 days, offices aren’t shutting down here.  Many cities aren’t so lucky, though.

So, for those of you who lived through the S&L crisis- what happens when times are back to being good?  What does recovery look like?  I wrote last fall about a “relaunch”of the website YourStreet.com.  I laughed that a website that was failing retooled and made some minor changes and tried to attach buzz to their name by calling it a “relaunch.”  But was that really laugh worthy?  Isn’t this what we will call it when the offices that have their lights out today rebuild in two years?  What will our dialogue be when we’re back on a national upswing?

I’m bringin’ back an oldie but a goodie- the CSI Factor (the grade a customer service provider receives) short for the “Customer Service Index- Factor” series (Episode One here, Episode Two here). Today, Sprint is on the chopping block who, on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the worst, 10 being the best), receives a 2.

Here’s what went down:
1. Benn’s insured Sprint Treo 650 had problems freezing intermittently.

2. On TUESDAY, we drive waaay across town to a Sprint corporate repair center because the 40 Sprint stores in our neighborhood don’t have repair centers (thanks, Sprint).

3. We finally arrive at 6:55pm. The store closes at 8:00pm. The sign on the door says nothing more and 10am-8pm- not even that the repair center doesn’t admit phones after 7:00pm (an HOUR before they close).

4. We walk around the store where no one will help us. Finally, we find Rude Guy who spoke like Ben Stein in a pissy mood. “They’re not taking phones anymore.” Benn said “sure they are, it’s before 7:00.” He looked up at him like the snooty clerks at Bergdorf’s sneer at you when you’re in the shoe section (expensive) when you should be in the accessories section (less expensive) because you’re wearing Pay-less shoes. Then he clickity-clacked our info making sure we knew he was irritated.

5. Benn tried to lighten him up with a joke which he totally ignored. Are we in NYC or something? This is the South, jerk- smile even if you don’t want to. He literally threw a piece of paper at us and said “it may be an hour, but don’t go far.” Then he stomped off into the depths of the repair center.

6. Benn asked for his phone back (as they might spit in it like an angry waiter). As Stompy asked why, Benn said he didn’t like the way he was being treated, he doesn’t mind taking it somewhere else if there is a problem. Stompy said “I’m not treating you badly.”  ”Yes you are.” In chimes the dude in back who sounded like he was part of the cast of Clerks said “you’re gonna lose all the info on this phone if I reset it.” Benn said, “I’ve synched it and done a hard reset.” “okay.” We decided to just give them a chance.

7. We went to Starbuck’s and lounged, giving them 45 minutes to tend to the precious phone. When we walked back in, Clerks dude picked the phone up from the exact spot we’d left it in and took the back off and asked, “uh, do you mind if I like hard reset it, you’re going to lose the memory but it’s the only way.” WTF!?!?- read #6. “That’s not a repair, I’ve already done that” Benn told him. “It’s all I can do.” Really, Clerks? Pushing a button is all your repair center that we drove 20 minutes to is capable of doing? Yep. Benn asked, “so, your official position is that a hard reset is a repair and you refuse to examine the phone?” Silent blank stare. Bye bye.

8. We were LIT! If choking people didn’t result in jail time, I’m pretty sure Clerks would have had a rough night.

9. In the car, Benn calls Sprint customer service. They hear him out. A really nice girl was very honest about the fact that there may be nothing they can do but assured him that his anger was valid and that we should have better luck at a different corporate repair center and they would likely replace it with a refurbished 650 or if unavailable, upgrade to a 700 or 755. She was absolutely no help, but she was good at her job (listened, validated, suggested a possible solution). She left us only 90% sure we were leaving Sprint instead of 110%.

Number 1-8 reinforced our years of frustration with Sprint. Had Number 9 not occurred and Number 10 (Sprint has the best coverage in Texas- it’s a big big spread out state), Sprint would have scored a 0. A big round zero.

Stay tuned for WEDNESDAY’s Sprint debacle. Will another repair center score better or will they fail as miserably as Tuesday’s poostorm?

Out of 10, what would CSIF score would YOU give Sprint regarding Tuesday’s events?

So, what do you do if one of your agents is a moron?  My first inclination is to ask them to hang their license with another broker, but if you’re on Team Barbara Walters, you’re probably safe…   Someone please take this chick out back and put her out of her misery!

Yes, this is real estate related… 
My favorite real estate gossip blog Real Estalker reports that Michael Jackson’s financial troubles may lead to his letting Neverland Ranch foreclose.  Yikes!  My mind is overwhelmed with jokes.

My thoughts:
(1) who the crap is going to buy the tainted Ranch?  I’m thinking Jack McClellan…
(2) would you take this listing if the opportunity arose? 
(3) if you took this listing, how the heck would you market the Ranch?
(4) how long do you think the Ranch would be on the market?
(5) [insert Michael Jackson joke here]

You all know the saying “it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings?”  Well, I recently came across a site that proves that not everyone can figure out when the fat lady has sung, left the stage, taken a shower, gone to bed, woken up and eaten pancakes with butter, chocolate chips and maple syrup.

We all know that there are endless “classifieds” sites online, most famous is Craigslist which is running on an extremely boring and basic yet effective platform.  But, to Craigslist’s credit, there are no pop ups, affiliate programs, crappy icons or anything other than simple text.

Recently, I learned about EPage.com which has been around since 1994.  1994?  Holy crap- that’s an old site, why haven’t I heard of this before?  Naturally, I had to check it out, I mean a website designed before I had a college degree that’s still around has to be good, right?  Wrong.  Take a sec to go to EPage.

Here’s my top 10 list proving that some companies continue functioning long after big girl’s tipped the IHOP waitress:

1. Having a website since 1994 is great but if it LOOKS like it’s from 1994, you’ve got a problem.

2. I don’t get their logo- pixelated font and multi-colored animal that might be a mouse, badger or pointed nose bug.

3. Clip art.  Clip art.  Die, clip art.  I wouldn’t click on this site for that reason alone.  Don’t abuse clip art- that’s sooo 1995.

4. This is the biggest link bait (or the pc term “affiliate”) jumble of text I’ve ever seen- even splogs are better looking!

5. If one more “smiley central” pop up freezes my freakin’ computer while I write this for you guys, I’m going to put a knife through the laptop screen!!!!

6. Click on houses for sale and the sidebar features non-related items on sale (cameras and phones).  There is no logic behind this, it simply encourages shoppers to not be serious rather to surf and give in to their adult ADD.

7. Go into any ad and there are more pop ups, a header filled with ads and a sidebar with Google Adwords.  So an ad affiliate network fills space with AdWords??

8. The net cast is too broad.  As a consumer, I shouldn’t have to drudge through Thailand listings to get to Texas listings, nor as a Realtor should the company have to “compete” with global listings.

9. As with most classified sites, spam gets through but most listings are overly spammy on this ol’ page.  You can win a home in the UK for $4!  I bet the king of Nigeria is also lurking there waiting for you to exchange money for a “handsum retarn.”

10.  Let’s say I’m listing my services, I’m a handywoman.  Going back to encouraging ADD, EPage actually has a link to a Yellow Pages search on the bottom of every page- why not just search therefor handywomanfolk?  Why dig through the boring text when you can use a better search tool.  Sheesh.

Whatever, EPage obviously stinks and I’m not sure I believe that any business has actually occurred on their site, at least not in real estate.  The overall point is that whether you’re considering using a vendor or are evaluating your own business practices, I beg you to turn up your hearing aid- is big girl singing, finished or taking a post-pancake nap?  Listen up and react accordingly.

As most of you know, I’m a Texan-American. We have been our own country before. We’re the only state whose flag is raised at the same height as the American flag. Fridays are for high school football, Saturdays are for college football and Sundays are for pro football. Even women drink beer here (Bud Light, duh) and unless you’re in Dallas, plastic surgery is rare. When people visit from other states, we have to explain so much about our culture.

We’re not alone. April Groves can tell you that in Georgia, much of the same culture is shared that seems so alien to the “Coasters” (that’s the people that live on the north east or the west coast). If you’re a Coaster and are forging a business relationship or a personal friendship with a southerner, most of us assume that the South is the center of the world and the rest of you should behave as we do. But since that may not be true, here are the main things you need to know:

1. We may not carry guns on our hips, but we’re no-crap type people. We’ll tell you the truth even if it costs us a deal and we expect the same. Southerners are offended when you dance around with excuses (like “I didn’t get those contracts yet” even through your Fed-Ex tracking system says they signed for it, or “I never got a message from you” even though your cell records show otherwise). If you’re dealing with a Southerner, always be straightforward- excuses are like a-holes if you know what I mean.

2. Southerners are loyal. We have our networks and we use them. Bubba may be a moron, but he gets the deals done, so I’ll use him even if he’s hard on the eyes and the ears. Don’t talk badly about him if you wouldn’t do it to his face, that’s not how we roll. Southerners don’t talk behind people’s backs and if YOU do while around us, you’ll lose the loyalty you’ve been given.

3. I should take a moment to dispel the myth that we are story tellers. Grandparents are, but those of us under 60 want the point first and the story later. Flowery speech and long-winded tales are great over beer, but in business, get to the point with honest speech- save the stories for happy hour.

4. In Texas, it’s a coke. “What kind of coke do you want?” the waiter asks. You say “Dr. Pepper.” Don’t call it a soda, cola or pop- it will prove that you don’t know the first thing about being Southern and you’ll just irritate me.

5. Southerners are like mobsters- if I go out of my way for you and act as a part of your team, I expect the same. We don’t do favors to get favors, but if I stick my neck out on a deal, you should be willing to bend for me next time. You do me a favor and you should know that I’ll do one for you in return.

6. We are not a delicate people, but we will lose it if ignored. We answer our phones if we’re in bed, during dinner, probably during a shower and anything in between (besides church). If you can’t answer your phone or return calls, no Southerner will be able to respect you since we go out of our way for everyone, even the Coasters.

7. Driving in Texas (and I would assume other places in the South), there is a mandatory two finger wave exchanged when going under 40 on a two lane road (usually residential or country road) between the driver and the oncoming driver or a person on the side of the road. Don’t wave to your neighbor as you pull in and you might not hear from them again. Also, if someone lets you in while in traffic and you don’t wave, you will get to know the mean side of a Texan while losing your bumper. So, do the two finger wave when driving slowly and do the full hand wave when let in in traffic or you will piss off any Texan.

***************
So that’s enough for now but there’s more. These are the top ways to upset a Texan or a Southerner, so if you have business or friendship with a Southerner, mind these rules or risk a dead relationship. I look forward to YOU adding #8-10 Southern Etiquette tips in the comments!

Thanks for reading y’all!

Benn rips Realtors a new one- see if he’s talking about you or not…

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In this photo, which is the NAR, which is the broker, which is the agent?  Oh my!
Label this photo in the comments!

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