Not really.  Athol would be pleased with the photography given the available technology in 1919, Darren Rowse would be tickled at the quality of writing (even if it is antiquated speech), and even float Riccelli’s boat with its great graphic design.

(click here for larger image)

Text that has a tone similar to many an ad in 2008:

For Sale on Cayuga Lake

An ideal summer home, at a very reasonable figure.  Four acres of land on State Road, communicating directly with all large cities in New York State, between the H.A. Westinghouse and Hains Estates.  Main residence modern in every respect- hardwood floors, electric lights, billiard room and servants’ quarters.  Garage.  Ice and boat house.  Fine variety of fruit trees in bearing.  Will be sold furnished or unfurnished.  If interested in breeding live stock can offer an excellent establishment which adjoins property.  For particulars apply to Owen D. DeWitt, Interlaken, New York.

I love my dad.  His house is .27 miles from mine.  He was a single father for much of my life and I’ve always adored him.  He’s an incredible artist with a variety of skills mastered.  I remember as a child watching him paint every night.  I didn’t understand his art until adulthood, but I admired it nonetheless.  For much of my life, he was a graphic designer working on marketing campaigns you’ve all seen before and years ago, he began work as a designer for a national sign firm and has since become the senior director of design.  So, let’s just modestly say he has an eye for design.  Better than I ever will.

Most people assume that artistic designers are lofty, dreamy people not oriented with savvy business skills, and those people would be wrong.  My father told me a universal business truth that I want to share with you.  It has stuck with me since I was 13 (and he’ll be shocked to read that I remember it)- on a triangle, only two sides are available to lean on in business.  You can turn it any which way and one point is always in the air, left out- you can’t have it.  Then he illustrated it (in a much sexier way than I’ve mustered up):

Although he probably learned this in college from some top economist (and my dad’s one of the smartest people alive, I even got in a fist fight in 3rd grade over my dad being smarter than everyone else’s), I still attribute this concept to him.  So, in all transactions I know that no matter how badly you want all three, a triangle only allows two, so remember:

You can have a quality product quickly, but you’ll sacrifice cost.
You can have an inexpensive product quickly, but you’ll sacrifice quality.
You can have a quality product inexpensively, but you’ll sacrifice time.

So, if you want my quality services rendered quickly, it’s going to cost you.  If you want my quality services inexpensively, it will be in my time frame, not yours.  If you just want a quick, inexpensive product, it won’t be as high quality as it would if you’d given me more time (or… you knew it- money). 

So, thanks dad for being my inspiration for teaching us the universal business truth that transcends all businesses!

I came across a new shopping website this week called Imagini.net and had so much fun developing my wish list!  You don’t have to register to get started, simply take their “quiz” which reveals your “Visual DNA.”  Upon completion, you have a list of matches of gifts you may like and you can remove the ones that you don’t want, save the list and share it with those you love!

What I find most intriguing about this gift finder is the quiz process.  With each question, you choose the image that most closely fits the answer:

How in the world did they know by my photo selection that I wanted a personal embosser?  And not only that but a list of suggested items similar to that?

Amazing website, fun, modern and well thought out.  Turns out I also need a decanter, a french soap hook and never knew I would be so excited about those things making my list!  I can even email my husband a link to check out the list!

So what does this all have to do with real estate?  It is a remarkable example of thinking outside of the box.  Millions of sites operate every day with a list of goods available, but I will always choose the option that allows me to have fun.  Remember, buyers always ask “what’s in it for me” and if it’s a bonus, free shipping, a gift card for Home Depot at closing or just a fun, creative quiz (my favorite), buyers will always go for the site or seller who is offering something shiny over the same ol’ same ol’. 

What is most amazing about Imagini is the power of suggestion- I need a book about French photography? OKAY!  I took a quiz, so this MUST be subconsciously what I wanted, right?  Even in a sea of junk to sell, someone has found a way to make it fun.  How will you make home buying a fun experience?

You all know the saying “it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings?”  Well, I recently came across a site that proves that not everyone can figure out when the fat lady has sung, left the stage, taken a shower, gone to bed, woken up and eaten pancakes with butter, chocolate chips and maple syrup.

We all know that there are endless “classifieds” sites online, most famous is Craigslist which is running on an extremely boring and basic yet effective platform.  But, to Craigslist’s credit, there are no pop ups, affiliate programs, crappy icons or anything other than simple text.

Recently, I learned about EPage.com which has been around since 1994.  1994?  Holy crap- that’s an old site, why haven’t I heard of this before?  Naturally, I had to check it out, I mean a website designed before I had a college degree that’s still around has to be good, right?  Wrong.  Take a sec to go to EPage.

Here’s my top 10 list proving that some companies continue functioning long after big girl’s tipped the IHOP waitress:

1. Having a website since 1994 is great but if it LOOKS like it’s from 1994, you’ve got a problem.

2. I don’t get their logo- pixelated font and multi-colored animal that might be a mouse, badger or pointed nose bug.

3. Clip art.  Clip art.  Die, clip art.  I wouldn’t click on this site for that reason alone.  Don’t abuse clip art- that’s sooo 1995.

4. This is the biggest link bait (or the pc term “affiliate”) jumble of text I’ve ever seen- even splogs are better looking!

5. If one more “smiley central” pop up freezes my freakin’ computer while I write this for you guys, I’m going to put a knife through the laptop screen!!!!

6. Click on houses for sale and the sidebar features non-related items on sale (cameras and phones).  There is no logic behind this, it simply encourages shoppers to not be serious rather to surf and give in to their adult ADD.

7. Go into any ad and there are more pop ups, a header filled with ads and a sidebar with Google Adwords.  So an ad affiliate network fills space with AdWords??

8. The net cast is too broad.  As a consumer, I shouldn’t have to drudge through Thailand listings to get to Texas listings, nor as a Realtor should the company have to “compete” with global listings.

9. As with most classified sites, spam gets through but most listings are overly spammy on this ol’ page.  You can win a home in the UK for $4!  I bet the king of Nigeria is also lurking there waiting for you to exchange money for a “handsum retarn.”

10.  Let’s say I’m listing my services, I’m a handywoman.  Going back to encouraging ADD, EPage actually has a link to a Yellow Pages search on the bottom of every page- why not just search therefor handywomanfolk?  Why dig through the boring text when you can use a better search tool.  Sheesh.

Whatever, EPage obviously stinks and I’m not sure I believe that any business has actually occurred on their site, at least not in real estate.  The overall point is that whether you’re considering using a vendor or are evaluating your own business practices, I beg you to turn up your hearing aid- is big girl singing, finished or taking a post-pancake nap?  Listen up and react accordingly.

In the real estate industry, the great majority of agents are responsible for personally marketing themselves and their business.  That’s the actual reason that most bloggers blog- branding.  We read various blogs on technologies that will help our brand succeed and we learn marketing tips.  I’ve found that to further my own marketing work, I have to look at others’ campaigns and why they have or have not worked.  Part I & II of this series address a number of television campaigns that have NOT worked and Part III and IV will cover campaigns that worked.  Read the italics for the takeaway points!

THE CREEP FACTOR

Scion- Have you seen the commercial for scion where the animated goblins come out of the ground and take over the world?  This campaign fails for several reasons:  (1) it is extremely creepy and not in a silly Munsters way but in a way that makes me think that if you play the commercial backwards they are converting my children into pagans.  (2) The animation is dark and every teen (who seems to be their target) that I’ve spoken with has said that the goblin commercial is disturbing and “not cool.”  (3) The commercial leaves you wondering what the hell these animated people killers are selling- you seriously don’t know until near the end of the ad.  I first saw the commercial in a movie and wasn’t the only one saying “there’s no way in hell I’m buying a Scion- will I become the devil?”  That’s what we call the opposite of a successful ad campaign.  So, you can be artistic in your ads but if it makes people feel religiously violated, you may lose business that you didn’t even know you had.

Papa John’s-The animated Jerry Jones who pop and locks in the locker room is beyond creepy.  What the hell does a washed up rich NFL team owner dancing around a la a revived Orville Redenbacker with Pizza?  This campaign fails because (1) wrinkly old men dancing like LL Cool J don’t give anyone an appetite.  (2) Just because his last name is Jones (just like rapper “Mike Jones” who brilliantly branded himself by repeating his name and cell number in his platinum single in 05) doesn’t mean the background music should be a white guy sounding like a rapper mimicking Mike Jones.  Again, this doesn’t make my mouth salivate.  (3) It is creepy but not creepy enough to create buzz- it just makes me feel sorry for Jerry Jones who clearly has a few bills he needs to pay so he jumped on the brandwagon.  In your ads be it television or print, you can always try to make youthful references, but if you make people equate your youthful ad to grandpa Jones, you won’t succeed- be age appropriate.

THE DISGUSTING FACTOR

Pepto Bismol- This factor is a sure recipe for a marketing campaign to fail. If you’re considering being crude, make sure it’s funny, not disgusting.  Pepto Bismol has a marketing team that said “hey, let’s make a song about crap- seriously, crap.”  If it had been funny, it would be… well, funny.  Instead, Pepto created a “heartburn, nausea, diarrhea” song with people dancing around holding the appropriately pained part of the body as they sing the song.  This campaign is crap because (1) it tries to break the formula of medicine product ads and made a pathetic attempt to be “different” but flopped.  (2) Singing about having the urge to projectile poop is a bad idea unless it’s overly funny.  If this ad featured the kids from South Park, I would be very impressed, but no name actors shaking their hips to the thought of (I’ll say it again) projectile poop is just dumb.  (3) Pepto strayed from their trademark by insisting it’s something other than “the pink” medicine.  What you should take from this is that it’s great to think outside the box, but don’t stray too far or your trademark may be lost to crappy actors with bad dance moves.

Valtrex- who hasn’t seen these sexy 20 somethings who tell the world that they have genital herpes?  Valtrex has ads that work simply because we see them during dinner and say “eww” and hope our 10 year old doesn’t ask what genital herpes are.  The Valtrex ads are representative of an entire school of marketing where people are forced to glamorize a pill for the clap.  This particular campaign features people outside on their bikes with their model boyfriend or running around the house with their curly haired kids- talking about being “careful” and taking their meds.  This campaign is poorly executed because (1) no matter how sexy the actors are or how easy it is to relate to their “normal” activities, I still hear you say the word “genital herpes” and have flashbacks to 6th grade sex ed where they scared us with enhanced photography of STDs.  (2) STD treatment ads would be more successful if they stuck to the template set by asthma medicines- “here is the illness, here is the treatment (show bottle), here are the side effects” but don’t try to get me attached to that cute blonde who you KNOW doesn’t have the Clap.  In your own campaigns, don’t overly glamorize something that is not at all glamorous- stick to the facts, not pretty walks in the park… you’re not fooling anyone.

THE DUMB LOCALS FACTOR

Furniture- I don’t believe in slandering locally owned businesses, but everyone here in Austin will know what I’m talking about.  There is a local furniture store that runs the same campaign that someone in your city selling speakers, tables or real estate (sorry folks).  Bad film quality is forgiven because it’s a local commercial, but this ad fails because (1) the chick has bleached, stringy 80s hair and shouldn’t show her cankles on film (wear pants, lady).  (2) The worst part of the local campaign to sell something is saying “we wanna save you monee!!!” as they throw dollar bills at the screen.  Ooh la la, I’m so glad you have all that cash sitting around but your yelling at me while throwing singles at me makes me feel like I should be pole dancing, not buying unpainted furniture!  (3) We know you and your wife are close, but she is not required to be the star of the campaign.  Weigh your options before committing to her in the starring role (especially if it requires speaking).  When you champion the air waves, remember that you may think something is clever (throwing George Washingtons at the camera) but the audience may see it as podunk- get unbiased feedback before the cameras roll.  Also, carefully consider using family in your campaign- an actor may be worth the extra dollar.

Home Builder- a local custom builder here uses actual customers in his ads (and naturally says “ha ha, I didn’t pay them to say that”- ugh).  While we think this is great, there is a particular woman who says “and the quah-luh-teae” and it has become a catch phrase that we actually make fun of.  When we are talking about coffee, thread count or technology my husband and I say “and the quah-luh-teae” in her nasal tone- classic.  So, this ad fails because (1) not only does he always have to point out that he “didn’t pay them to say that” which is a big no no (try “those are actually my clients” or something more cleverly put).  (2)  If your client is a dumb local that wears overalls every day they will come across as such no matter what outfit you put them in.  (3) The accents of his clients are obviously more country than city which leads me to believe that if I don’t have a massive country lot, horses or drink from a well, I am not in your client pool.  In your ads, remember to take accents and local culture into account and aim for neutrality so as not to alienate part of your consumber base and be dubbed the “builder” (or Realtor) of the dumb locals.

THE MISUSED ICON FACTOR

Emerald Nuts- We all love commercial use of 70s and 80s icons that we haven’t seen for decades, but Emerald Nuts features Robert Goulet as a human spider that plays tricks during snack time and causes havok in the office.  I absolutely hate this campaign because (1) it poorly uses a pop icon.  Goulet has been featured as a target of comedy on SNL but Emerald Nuts (who traditionally has ads that don’t make any sense, even to the easy-to-amuse-laughs-at-everything crowd like me) misses the boat on making Goulet amusing.  (2) This ad features a young 30-something in a cubicle indicating this campaign is aimed at Generation X.  Guess what?  Generation X has no clue who Robert Goulet is and this is a terrible choice of pop icon for a nonsense ad.  (3) The point that nuts are a good afternoon snack is not conveye by Goulet pouring coffee onto a keyboard.  (Sidenote- RIP Goulet, your image had potential and Emerald missed the boat).  I wasn’t a big fan of their product before and I’m certainly not now.  If you choose a spokesperson for your campaign (I hear Gary Coleman’s available…), choose wisely and make sure that your demographic will know who the hell your spokesperson is.

Pizza Hut- it’s no coincidence that another pizza company is an offender on the list, is it?  Pizza Hut hasn’t run this ad since this spring, but they had a series that featured Jessica Simpson who was consistently a vixen.  That part fits but what is irritatingly offensive is that the first ad in the series featured a pimply faced teen that is simply eating pizza when Jessica walks in.  She’s hot, there’s no question, but I’m pretty sure Pizza Hut had her seduce a 14 year old.  Gross.  This campaign poorly uses a pop icon because (1) it highlights pedophelia.  (2) This ad series has Jessica as the dumb blonde which is so played out that if I see her in another “is this chicken or tuna” themed ad, I’m going to put my fingers down my throat until I puke.  (3) In an attempt to play up on the sex appeal of Jessica, the Pizza Hut brand is lost.  Google had to tell me which pizza maker used her in the ads- that’s how much the message was lost on me.  When you use sex appeal in your ads, don’t abuse an overly used icon’s catch phrase or catch action (Paris Hilton’s “that’s hot,” Jessica Simpson’s “is this chicken or tuna,” etc) unless you expect eyes to roll.

THE TAKEAWAY: there is more to marketing than simply choosing an advertising firm.  If you’re hiring others to handle your brand, stay involved and don’t be creepy, gross, abusive of pop icons or use dumb locals.  If you market for yourself, we all know you’re not an international brand but don’t throw something together that will make consumers laugh! 

*****************
Stay tuned for the second part of failed marketing campaigns, followed by the ads that you could model your campaigns after!

Last week, I had it on my mind to address my feelings about Craigslist and the timing couldn’t be better.  A few days later, the NY Times wrote an article about officers posing on Craigslist as prostitutes and soliciting “Johns” (then arresting them of course).  No, NYT doesn’t read RE Revealed… that said, it IS a prominent issue in today’s real estate marketers’ minds (not just in MY mind). 

• RE Revealed wrote a follow up article. 
• Athol picked up the story in his Feed Bag article roundup.
• Shailesh agreed with my position that Craigslist may reflect poorly upon Realtors posting ads

You don’t need a Harvard degree to know that in marketing perception is reality. In most cases the medium used to convey the message defines the messenger. In Real Estate the product is the agent. The house is a by-product. An agent attracts the type of buyer he or she seeks. So, this begs the question: What kind of product are you? Do you want to work with Shrek or Lord Farquaad?

• Then today, Inman picked up the Craigslist story and asks

Where’s the real estate connection here? (Hopefully it’s indirect.) It’s another discussion about online liability, and the potential problems with user-generated content on Web sites.

This is IMPORTANT- there are so many different solutions to what clearly is a problem, and we invite you to blog about your perspective on the liability you have as a Realtor when using Craigslist. 

——————-
Make sure to link to this article so readers can follow your thoughts!

While I don’t promote face marketing (which has been hashed out here), I know that there are many people who will insist on pasting their mug on their cards, tote bags and bus benches.  That’s fine, especially if you’re featured on the “Hot Realtor” website… but if you’re on the “could you cover that up” or the “is that a witch or a wardrobe” websites, you might want to consider NOT using face marketing.

That said, for those of you who insist on plastering your face around your fine city, please do NOT break the following commandments:

1. Thou shalt not use a misleading Photoshopped image of yourself.  If you’ve got a double chin, rock it or else your clients will meet you in person and instead of focusing on your amazing 15 second pitch, they will be studying your face and comparing it with their mental image you gave them online, leading to their loud internal laughter they will have to fight from coming to fruition! 

2. Thou shalt not use your “skinny days” photo.  Do I really need to elaborate on this?  Don’t mislead your clients or GIVE THEM a reason to laugh at you- you may already be up against this without the help of a botched pic…

3. Thou shalt not ever use the pose where you rest your chin on your single resting hand.  We know you just got out of the nail salon, but you don’t earn credibility from this ultra sophisticated pose- it’s a myth.  Leave this pose to your 6 year old daughter in the frilly dress- that’s what it’s designed for!

4. Thou shalt not use your high school senior photo on your business card, especially if you’re wearing that stupid black frock.  There is professional help out there and if you insist on face marketing, Real Estate Photography transcends photographing homes; just ask Larry.

5.  Thou shalt not use any softening effects in your image.  Putting tracing paper in front of the lens doesn’t make you more approachable, it just ups your cheez factor!  (Yes, cheez with a “z”)

6. Thou shalt not wear any of the following items at your Realtor photo shoot: a wife-beater tank top (yes, I’ve seen this- seriously), a Hawaiian shirt, shoulder pad power suits with white tennis shoes (ladies, you know you sported this look two decades ago), Flava Flav style jewelry, heavy hair gel (a la the movie “Grease”), or a Lamborghini.

7. Thou shalt not fake hair.  Some of the most successful   Realtors I know are baldies and did you know that bald is IN? Take their lead and never ever ever ever wear a toupe (regardless of what Trump says), Photoshop hair on your head (we all know how this ends up), or do the comb over.

8. Thou shalt not use any image of you standing with a celebrity.  Lance Armstrong is awesome but I don’t think he wants to hang out with you every day on your card.  Yeah yeah, we get that you’re important because you went to a conference he spoke at and you got to shake his hand, but you’re not his buddy and you didn’t sell his house- you didn’t fake me out, buddy!

I could go on and on with this one, but I leave the rest of the list to YOU… what other commandments should be added to the list?

The first reason I love Starbucks is because their Peppermint Mocha is to DIE FOR! The baristas know us at multiple locations and they amaze people in line by starting our drinks without our saying a word (people wonder if we’re famous- we’re not).

The second reason is that it seems to be a meeting spot for any person in any industry. Millions of dollars worth of transactions originate in Starbuck’s each year (I dare to blog about this as a commentary to why I personally love Starbucks, rather than a suggestion of where to fish for business- no one likes fishers). The vibe at Starbuck’s is very friendly and people let their guards down when drinking out of that trademark white cup. Here in Texas, it’s normal to butt into people’s conversations regarding ANYTHING, but at Starbucks, there is a comfortable vibe that even foreigners (that’s what we call people from out of state) enjoy.

Here are two case studies of Realtors in Starbucks about lessons learned when ears are perked:

SCENE ONE: Single Pointe Realty (SPR) agent is minding his own business drinking his Latte when he overhears a couple talking about how frustrated they were at home shopping. The SPR agent standing next to them asked who their Realtor was and they said they didn’t have one. A casual conversation began about why no Realtor was involved (thought they could do it on their own and save a buck) and where all they’d looked (of course nowhere economical for their investment). SPR agent gives him their card and briefly explained how he could save them money and to call if they need guidance. The soft sale led them to catch him on his way out and hire him on the spot. They also contracted that day after seeing the home of their dreams (he nailed it after 15 minutes of conversation).

SCENE TWO: (regurgitated from my comment on Bawldguy.com) Waiting for coffee, I see a greased-back hairdo with a full black suit on (not traditional for Austin’s residential market) holding a knock off Mont Blanc and brown shoes with a black belt (leave it to a Wife to notice). In the smarmiest voice ever, he leans over and says, “what if I told you that you could save $50 a month on your home when you use my services? Huh? Huh? Sounds good doesn’t it? Bet you can’t resist…” Seriously? This guy reeks of used-car-salesmanship… This is the phony (insert epithet for “crap” here) that comes out of agents’ mouths that ruins it for the more genuine intellectual Realtors (like my husband of course). Despite this looking like a planned meeting (laptop open, couple not drinking coffee), the clients left that high pressure smarmy agent sitting at the table alone but kindly thanked him for his time. I wish I had a printout of PhoenixRealEstateGuy’s Karma report to hand that Realtor.

The two scenes offer very different tales of how keeping your ears perked at different locations can teach you (1) to hear what people are talking about and kindly offer your services without pressure (as if anyone needs more smarmy in this world) and (2) how NOT to practice Real Estate (greasy hair and high pressure tactics). The bottom line is, I love Starbucks for the coffee and accidental networking opportunities. ALL Realtors should have their ears open at ALL times- you never know when the next coffee drinker may be your next client!